No doesn’t mean No.

How many times have we said “No means No!” when it comes to dangerous issues with our kids.  In fact it isn’t even with dangerous issues at times.  We also use it when we are just fed up with something they are doing. We often worry as parents that the pressures they face to use drugs, smoke cigarettes or have sex can be handled with this one sentence also.  We tell our boys that when a girl says “no” that it means “no”, but I have an easier way to word this.  To me, “No” really means “Stop!”  Yes you read that right.  It means stop what you are doing.  It doesn’t mean “No for now.”  It doesn’t mean “No but ask me again in a second.”  It doesn’t mean “No but if you try a little harder I will come around.”  No really means STOP! End of action.  It doesn’t have to be end of discussion.  Two people, even teenagers, can talk about things they want to do and what makes them comfortable.  But it does mean stop the action or activity right now.  When it comes to intimacy between two people consent has to be in clear.  If either is unsure, ASK!  So I encourage you to continue to advise your kids, whether they’re 12 or 25, or encourage your friends if they are older and feel pressure to understand that No really isn’t No….it’s STOP!  Sounds pretty clear to me don’t you think?